Just wanted to mention, pick up this issue of The Phoenix, with “The Attack of the 50 Foot Oprah” on the cover. It’s about time someone did an expose on the most dangerous cult since Scientology.

I was talking to Itchy about it the other day. I’d seen Oprah’s self-serving speech at Coretta Scott King’s funeral and was telling him about it. Oprah gets up there and basically talks about Oprah, and how Oprah was privileged to know Coretta and how Coretta was royalty and Oprah was in her royal court, and how in Coretta’s presence she felt privy to a secret, and how if you want to know the secret you had to tune into the next Oprah. They also had a video presentation later in the service, a big chunk of which was devoted to the Oprah episode where Coretta got a total makeover courtesy of the Cult.

Itchy was like, “I just don’t see the appeal. What’s she got that I don’t? I want a religion! Why do people follow hers?” I said I thought it was simple. It’s an empire built on the two pillars of female identity in today’s America: the all-important hairdo, and the evil of cellulite. That’s it. And it’s such a central part of a woman’s world today that it’s enough. I’m not saying it ought to be that way, but it is, and that’s why she’s a billionaire. Same with Mary-Kate and Ashley. You think they’d be billionaires if they looked like Kelly Osbourne?

Anyway, pick up this issue and read it on the T.