So I was riding through the South End on my way back to Dot yesterday, and, lucky for me, it was the day before garbage collection and I happened to have my camera on me. I have wanted to record for the world, and for posterity, what the view from a million dollar condo in the South End is like two days out of the week:

Gorgeous, innit?

And this is a random sampling. I didn’t have to go looking for torn bags and rubbish strewn about. It’s all over the South End. Now, I don’t live in the South End, myself, but I still find this scene utterly atrocious and shameful for a city that insists it has some kind of class.

Last year I did a little investigating, and found that new “rubbish rules” had been issued in 2002. Unfortunately, this is one of those meaningless actions government takes so that they can say they’ve addressed an issue, when in fact they have done nothing to solve it.

The “new rubbish rules,” first implemented in 2002, and renewed in ’05, state that “There must be sufficient metal or durable plastic barrels for storing of refuse generated in building.” But on the next line, the compact says: “Disposable 2-ply [or heavier] plastic bags may be used instead of trash barrels for curbside trash collection.” This translates roughly to: “throw your trash out the window onto the sidewalk and street. Make sure it is strewn about all over the area in front of the building.”

There is absolutely no point in saying in the first breath that you should have adequate metal and durable plastic containers, and then in the next that you can substitute plastic bags for them, if you wish. Obviously—I mean, just look at the pictures—plastic bags don’t work.

Now, when I’ve brought this up with residents, they kvetch that if they spring for a trash can somebody will steal it. Or, where are they gonna store it? Or what’s to stop the rag pickers from digging through trash cans and tossing out the contents, too?

OK, so live in filth two days a week in your beautiful million dollar brownstone, and pretend that your neighborhood doesn’t look like Fresh Kills. Trash? What trash? Why, I don’t see any trash!

But this is not only a civic issue, a quality of life issue, and an issue of people pussying out on the challenges of urban living, of efficient and effective waste disposal, it’s fundamentally a public health and safety issue. And other cities have dealt with it, and dispose of their waste with some dignity. We’d do well to emulate them.

The first thing you have to do, though, is admit you have a problem.

It really is part and parcel of a public culture that takes little or no real interest or responsibility for its public spaces. I mean, seriously, how can you spend seven-hundred-fifty grand for a tiny condo in the South End, and live waste-deep in garbage two days of the week, every week, all year round? And still have that South End attitude, to boot?

We should start with more stringent recycling regulations. No more of this la-tee-da! Do I feel like recycling today? Look at it like this: the fewer recyclables you have in your garbage, the less likely those looking for recyclables in your garbage are going to be to find them, and the less often they find them, the less often they’ll come back looking for them, and after not finding them at all, they’ll stop looking altogether. Trust me. If we can train pigeons with “negative rewards” we can train the neighborhood rag-pickers.

That’s a start, but barely.

Cutting down on food waste is another thing. When you throw out large amounts of food, once your garbage has been riffled through for recyclables, the next wave will be animals and people rooting around in them for food. Use your garbage disposal, or make a concerted effort to cut down on food waste.

But for a comprehensive solution, the city has to get involved. What’s needed are uniform waste disposal containers, provided by/purchased from the city. The containers should be fitted specifically to refuse-collection trucks. Containers and trucks that go together like this are infinitely more sanitary than the anything we have on our streets today. They are also infinitely more efficient.

At the very least, rubbish disposal should be systematized, which means as little variation on a theme, as few individual options as possible. Another thing it would be infinitely easier to do with a better system is fine offenders. It’s a city government’s dream.

But here’s the thing. The city doesn’t give a shit, because as far as it knows, it’s citizens don’t give a shit. Maybe there’s a rumbling every now and again. But this situation has been the norm for so long now, that we seem to think it’s normal. It’s not. But the rule is: you’re willing—even eager—to live on a garbage heap, they’re certainly willing to let you.

When I sent my letter to Commissioner Casazza last year pointing out the need for a change in the “rubbish rules” themselves, I got a rapid reply from an underling that read: “Please contact Code Enforcement with this issue at 617 635-4896. They will send an inspector out and possibly fine the responsible parties.” The problem was, of course, precisely that no one was in violation of any code, and that, still, there was rubbish all over the sidewalk.

But it’s good to know they have some bureaucrats sitting around waiting to fill out the appropriate paperwork, generating more rubbish, should any violators of the virtually nonexistent rubbish rules ever actually be found.