On a tip from Jason I checked out the “missed connection” section of Craig’s List.

Hmm.

I have to admit the allure of electronic bulletin boards and chat rooms is totally lost on me. People post anonymous and innocuous enough comments and are then mercilessly slagged off by other chat room lurkers or denizens of the bulletin boards. People who would not dare speak up in real-life are emboldened to bite others’ heads off in cyberspace.

Aside from wingnuts who post treacly pop song lyrics and electronic chain letters a lot of the posts drift way, way, way off-topic. I mean, to the point it’s almost worthless having a “missed connections” category in the first place. For February 14th, of 25 posts, only 7 had anything to do with actual “missed connections”.

Sure, it’s amusing somehow. I mean, the guy who has to tell the world (and I quote): “I AM A LAW OBIDING CITIZEN AND I DON’T RESPECT THE FACT THAT I JOINED A BSC CLUB A FEW MONTHS AGO TO SHED SOME POUNDS AND ON A DAILY BASIS I HAVE TO DEAL WITH GUYS CHECKING OUT MY JUNK AND STARING AT ME IN THE MENS ROOM.” And wants to rally the troops: “LETS TAKE BACK OUR GUMS. LETS TAKE BACK OUR BCS GYMS ALL OVER THE AREA. GET BACK TO ME WITH IDEAS AND HELP KEEP THE LAW SAFE!!!” Let’s start a club! The He-Man Man-Junk-Lover-Haters Club of Boston!

I say just be happy anyone at all is interested in your nasty old “junk”. (I refer to mine as “jewels,” by the way.) This is a kind of paranoid double reverse voyeurism, isn’t it? There’s actually a lot of it about.

But to be honest, this kind of post is just what you expect when you log on, isn’t it? It’s the same psychology at play with reality TV. We don’t tune in to have our assumptions challenged, we tune in to have our misanthropy reinforced. I mean, this dude lurking on Craig’s List trying to stir up a shit-storm is just the kind of pathetic slob you’d expect to find there doing just that, isn’t it?

And, OK, sure, there’s something compelling about that, in and of itself, but it’s like when I was in college and I dropped acid for the first time. I was with this psych major friend of mine, and we were in the kitchen when I started to peak and I got totally lost in the litter box. And she rescued me. I mean, without her intervention I would have spent a night of revelations buried in the cat box, you know? A lot of things can be diverting, but not all are deserving of equal attention. Next time you’re about to dive into the litter box, think of your mental hygiene.

Anyway, none of this is to say that the concept behind “missed connections” isn’t a good one. I think there ought to be a section in the Metro dedicated to them. And I think people ought to cruise on the T. It should be encouraged. Anything that might facilitate a more loving underground.